Hello there friends, hope this finds you well and good. The last few weeks, I have just been feeling rather miserable and somewhat unmotivated. I’m usually an upbeat person and I’m rarely unhappy or sad. But once in a while, as if out of nowhere, I will wake up one day and I’m in what seems like a black hole. The thing is, in life no season stays the same and whether you like it or not, days like these come to all of us, whether it’s from a heartbreak, betrayal, loss, hormones or any other disappointing situation, because in life, no season stays the same. So here’s a few pointers that I use to help me whenever I am in this situation.
1. Don’t suppress your feelings.
Whatever is causing you to feel this way, don’t just ignore your feelings. I used to think that if I acknowledged my feelings then it meant I was weak. But your emotions are there for a reason and you know what, If you need to cry, feel sad or take a nap for a little while, please go ahead, BUT please DO NOT eat a whole box of Krispy Kremes…lol
2. Misery loves company
You may have heard this most of your life but it will always be is true. After you’ve had a good cry, felt miserable or finished your krispy kremes, you want to start thinking about your exit plan for leaving this pity party. Misery won’t want you to leave. It will offer you a hot chocolate, a warm duvet and a Bridget Jones movie. In order to overcome this feeling, you first have to acknowledge that just as it might be ok to cry and feel sad for a while, it’s not ok to stay here forever!
3. Think about what you are thinking about.
My thoughts tend to ran rampant especially when I’m on my own. I have to learn to still my mind and just refuse to entertain every negative thought that shows up in my mind. There will be a voice that won’t want to shut up and your part is to shut it up and replace those thoughts with positive ones. On some days I feel like I have to do this a million times and it’s not that easy because my mind just wants to be miserable and doesn’t want to hear any of that positive stuff! So I have to make a conscious, deliberate, determined effort to think right and watch that inner dialogue.
On top of watching my inner dialogue, I have to watch my outer dialogue as well. The last thing I need to do is to tell ANY ONE who can litsen about how I feel and just keep going on and on about it. Not only will I start bringing every one down with my negative energy but my words will snare me and instead of starting to feel better, I will just feel worse and worse. Key word being any one!
4. Do something you enjoy.
Whether that’s having a spa day, listening to music, or treating yourself to a shopping spree or good food. In my case, I will have my favorite playlist on repeat, get a good coffee and cake while I’m at it, or just go with the flow and do whatever I feel like on that particular day, within reason ofcourse. Loving on yourself is crucial because unless you love yourself, you cannot love others. So be kind to yourself, and be unapologetic about it. I will usually make myself watch something funny and comic whether that’s Shrek, or an episode of friends or something along those lines.
5. Listen to motivational teachings.
In my effort to get out of this black hole, now is not the time for me to watch one soapy movie after another. I watch/ listen to my favorite inspirational teachers. Sometimes I will listen to one lesson over and over.
6. When I am weak then I am strong.
Although I know that God doesn’t want me to stay miserable or to just spend my days crying, feeling powerless and depressed, I also know to realise that when this black cloud comes on me I don’t need to put myself down and go around wondering ‘what is wrong with me?’. I have learnt and keep learning to embrace weakness and emptiness, because it’s in those moments that I am reminded how it’s so much better with God in control than me doing everything on my own. If your feelings are there for nothing else, let them remind you how much you need God! And this is the paradox of divine Grace! 2Cor 12:9-10
Much love to you all.